We Need to Stop Undervaluing Gratitude at Work
Work isn’t always the best place to be, especially lately. Employee engagement reached an 11-year low in 2024, and workplace civility has been on the decline for years. Stagnant wages, a decline in respect, fears of layoffs, and inflexible RTO mandates compounded by a poor labor market have caused the “Great Detachment.”Opens in a new tab
Our research with Gallup underscores this effect on workers: almost half of all U.S. employees reported feeling stressed a lot in the previous day.
Stress and general unease don’t just make us less committed to our jobs; they also trickle into our lives outside of work, leading to record lows in employees' feelings that they are not thriving in life.
No one is completely immune from the effects, but individual contributors and managers are most likely feeling the heat. Luckily, there’s a way to reverse the downward spiral and create a positive ripple effect. One that’s scientifically proven to boost our happiness, wellness, and commitment to work: gratitude.
If gratitude is so good, what’s been holding us back from telling others we appreciate them?
We completely underestimate it.
Even though it can feel risky to tell someone you don't know very well what you appreciate about them or what you're grateful for, the payoffs are going to be bigger than you think.
The systemic devaluation of gratitude
Emily Heaphy has studied workplace relationships and organizational scholarship for almost 20 years. She shared research explaining the psychological complexities that might hold us back from expressing gratitude.
We generally underestimate the effect complimentsOpens in a new tab and gratitudeOpens in a new tab have on other people. We also fear that we might feel awkward when people know how we feel.
“People underestimate the value of gratitude to other people. They think, ‘Oh, well, maybe if I express gratitude, that person will not think as highly of me because they think that whatever they did to deserve gratitude wasn't such a big deal.’”
When we think expressing gratitude won’t mean much, or worse, anticipate that it might make us feel weird, we don’t do it. And that’s when the downward spiral begins. We keep our feelings to ourselves and continue business as usual. Then when we stop recognizing others, it makes others less likely to repay the feeling.
When we devalue the systemic worth of gratitude, people become less engaged and committed to their organization. This leads to lower productivity and happiness, less effective teams, and people with one foot out of the door. You probably wouldn't be too excited to be at work either when you know your contributions are going to go unnoticed. Recent researchOpens in a new tab has found that recognizing someone before a challenging project or timeline is complete can help get people over the finish line.
Reclaim a sense of control with gratitude
We’ve been conditioned to believe we don’t need to thank people just for doing their jobs. But that’s flat out wrong. Gratitude and recognition can help mitigate these stressful feelings and give us the power to claim some joy from jobs that drain us. Recognition makes us better at our jobs and it makes our lives better.
If a company is really embracing recognition and gratitude and appreciation, and it's really working, then they can bring that home to their families, and loved ones, and friends and cause a ripple effect.
Part of what makes recognition so powerful is that you don’t need special permission to feel or act on it. It's not often can you create meaningful change without cutting through corporate red tape. Recognition is empowerment.
Although leaders can help to normalize prosocial behaviors, each one of us can express gratitude. Here’s how to get familiar with the sensation of appreciation.
Pay attention to what’s happening around you
It sounds obvious, but be mindful of your colleagues or direct reports' actions. How do they tackle problems? Face adversity? Recover from setbacks? Is there something you admire about the way they interact with others or approach conversations?
Notice your feelings
You’ll likely start to notice feelings of appreciation or find your colleague’s actions admirable.
Gratitude feels like:
Awe
A sense of warmth
A glimmer of positivity
Alignment with a community, cause, or purpose
Connection to your teammates
Gratitude might show up in your thoughts as:
“I wish I handled it that way.”
“The way you solve problems is fascinating.”
“The way they stepped up made the team proud.”
“I could never do their job!”
Pay it forward
Remember that the positive ripple effect will override any feelings of awkwardness or hesitation.
Send a Slack message or share your feelings in a 1:1. Even better, send recognition through Workhuman’s Social Recognition® platform so your colleagues can cash out for something that brings them joy outside of work – like plane tickets or a new pickleball paddle.
If you remember one thing, make it this: Don’t hesitate to recognize someone for a job well done.
Undervaluing gratitude creates an environment where opportunities for recognition are consistently missed, perpetuating a downward spiral. Start a gratitude chain reaction by expressing your appreciation the next time you feel it – the effects will spread further than you'd expect.
About the author
Alicyn Zall
Alicyn Zall is a writer dedicated to creating a more equitable and fulfilling workplace. With a focus on actionable, data-driven insights, her work empowers individuals and organizations to foster positive change. In addition to her contribution at Workhuman, Alicyn has served as an editor at Harvard Business Review where she developed books and articles about mental health and the future of work.